


like warmth and safety

by kirichin



Series: stolen moments with you [1]
Category: Suicide Boy - ParkGee (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Nightmares, Self-Harm, Sharing Clothes, Sleep Deprivation, but only a little cos let this boys be happy, just a sprinkle of angst bec bro, mainly fluff, this is hooni we talkinh about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29489601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirichin/pseuds/kirichin
Summary: It was his last thought before everything grew blurry, his eyes closing as he succumbed to the sleep that always, always eluded him.Hooni was safe here with Soorim.
Relationships: Jung Soorim & Lee Hooni, Jung Soorim/Lee Hooni
Series: stolen moments with you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166060
Kudos: 49





	like warmth and safety

**Author's Note:**

> this was written in a rush so sorry for the sloppy writing (but when is my writing not sloppy lol)

Hooni rolled off the mattress, elbow bumping into the ground painfully, his forehead hit the small table he pulled closer to his mattress last night. But all those pain were forgotten as he curled into the ground, blanket wrapped around his body. He was gasping for air, body trembling, as sweat drenched the blanket. He was afraid.  
  
Very afraid. It was different from the fear the bullies gave him, different from the anxiety he gets from talking to the cashier. No. This was cold. So so cold. Colder than that one time his heater wasn't working and he thought he may die from hypothermia, colder than the water that was poured over him in the bathroom, colder even than his mother's hand as he cried his heart out.  
  
This was blood-freezing, this was glacial and biting. This was the fear of dying and being unable to do anything about it. But this wasn't the fear he gets from trying to kill himself and succeeding. This was different. This was the fear he gets when his father-  
  
No.  
  
Hooni silenced that line of thought as his heart hammered in his chest. He tried to take control of his limbs but all he can muster was feeble shaking, curling up as whimpers left his throat. He can't remember the dream though. And he guessed he should be thankful. But he knew where this feeling came from, there were only few times where he felt like this and that gave him a clue to what, or rather who, his dream was about. And not remembering it, made his imagination rampant.  
  
It fed the panic and the fear.  
  
He thought he may die this time. He didn't. He wished he did.  
  
When the fear and panic died enough for him to be able to sit down, his leg was cramping and he noticed the ache on his elbow and his forehead.  
  
He sighed when he saw that his elbow was bruising and that his forehead bled judging from the crustiness he felt there.  
  
Damn. He hope this was the last time he got this nightmare.  
  
-  
  
_It kept on happening._  
  
-  
  
Hooni got better at handling his nightmares he thinks. He doesn't take hours now on shaking the fear off. He only trembles in fear for a few moment before sitting up. He wanted to reach out for the box cutter, wanted to feel the blade cutting through skin, wanted for the blood to drip drip down his arms.  
  
Because this, at least this was a pain he can control. At least the cuts that littered his arms was because of him. Because he chose to.  
  
But the blades he bought was missing these days. For some reason. Even the ones in his home. He wonders if Jaehoon saw it? Now that he thought about, Jaehoon seemed to become weirder these days, always looking at him.  
  
Is it because he noticed that Hooni wasn't sleeping well for a week? Elation chased away the dread but then he remembered that they were about to have quiz next week and he flinched. Must be that.  
  
He groaned and rolled in his bed. He can't sleep, can't cut and he was running out of suicide methods. What's he gonna do?  
  
He was glad that the fear edged away, that the coldness leeched off for a moment so he fed the annoyance he was feeling. He groaned again and wiggled in place, kicking his foot in annoyance, pout in his face. He was moving so much that he accidentally fell from his mattress.  
  
"Ouch." He moaned in pain. He pushed himself up but a soft material his hand touched caught his attention.  
  
He looked at the side and gasped at what he saw. It was Soorim's new hoodie. He grasped in his hands raising it to look at it. It was so soft. It was one of those two piece hoodies that looked like it had another shirt under it.  
  
Hooni hummed in thought as he stared at it. So this was what the popular kids are wearing this days. He usually see kpop artist wearing this on some of the twtter posts he saw when he still had his account.  
  
A grin lit up his features. Maybe he could try out what it feels like to wear this kind of clothes. Excitedly, Hooni tossed his white shirt aside. He quickly put his head through the hole, hand fitting through the sleeves. It was a little loose so he wore it easily.  
  
Once he let go of the hem he let out a surprised 'huh'. It was warm and comfortable. Very, very comfortable. Like being wrapped in a warm hug. Like being wrapped in his favorite blanket. Like his mom hushing him through a nightmare.  
  
The thought made him shake his head. Nope. Now way. He was not going to be sad. He's going to milk this for all its worth. He stood up admiring it only to realize that it was big.  
  
The hoodie gave Soorim a cool laid-off vibe when he wore it. It was loose on him, the casualness made him more welcoming but not sacrificing the cool aura he had when he stops speaking. On Hooni though, he was practically drowning on it.  
  
Hoonie groaned in frustration. Of course. He bemoaned, hands raising as he clenched it in a fist, not that it can be seen because the sleeves reached past his hands. He would totally look uncool in something Soorim looked good in.  
  
It smelt good though. He thought as he slumped in the mattress. And very comfortable. He thought as he dropped his head to lay down. And, his brain repeating, it smelt good.  
  
He buried his nose on the jacket. And it did smell good. Like Soorim and iced coffee they had earlier, like safety and warm haven. Like a safe hand around his waist as he ran away from someone who was about to take-advantage of him. Like warmth.  
  
Unbidden, Hooni's eyes fluttered down, sleep taking him. This time, without the coldness seeping in, kept away by the warm safety of the hoodie.  
  
-  
  
Hooni shivered. He thought the nightmares were gone. But it was back.  
  
After a goodnight sleep last night, he thought the unremembered dreams would flee and never come back. But it was here again. As fear choked him he wished that he at least has something warm with him, something to chase away the cold and the fear. Something that smelt like Soorim would be good too, so he'd feel safe.  
  
Only if he didn't return Soorim's hoodie.  
  
The thought made him sit up, dizzying him. But he was too busy shaking his head in denial.  
  
Nope. Nadah. Nu-uh. It wasn't because of Soorim that he felt safe. Totally not. It was the hoodie. Definitely the hoodie and not the fact that Soorim owns it and it felt like a part of him was left with it. Totally not because the faint scent of Soorim's hairspray and cologne made him remember of the times Soorim casually touched him, of the times that Soorim held him close as if he was something to be protected, of the times that the touches he got from Soorim were gentle and made not to hurt, it was made to show affection and like and safety.  
  
Yes. It's not Soorim at all.  
  
-  
  
"Hey hyung! You wouldn't believe what happened today." Soorim said sitting beside Hooni and giving him a grin that now made him return it with a small smile.  
  
"I have this classmate and he-" Hooni nodded in agreement at Soorim, elbow planting on the table as he leaned his cheeks there. He let out occassional 'hmm's and nods.  
  
But no, he wasn't tuning out Soorim. This was different.  
  
He used to ignore Soorim's babbling. It used to annoy him, made him scared and anxious so he tuned it out. Dipping himself in his pessimistic thoughts instead. He didn't know why he did that.  
  
Because Soorim's voice, it was cheerful. It wasn't the slightly deep tone of Jaehoon that was always followed with reprimand and sighs.This was slightly higher, the cadence different, and it was happier. More cheerful, like sunshine and yellow and butterflies. Soorim always talked to him as if he was happy to talk to Hooni, like the sight of useless him made him happy.  
  
So he wasn't ignoring it, or tuning it out. It feels like he was absorbing it, letting the words go and instead basking at the rise and fall and tune of his voice.  
  
It was comforting. It was safe. It was warmth.  
  
It was his last thought before everything grew blurry, his eyes closing as he succumbed to the sleep that always, always eluded him.  
  
Hooni was safe here with Soorim.  
  
-  
  
"Ehh." Soorim exclaimed as he saw Hooni slump. He wasn't that boring was he? He thought to himself as he rubbed the back of his head. But this was good. He thinks instead as he smiles at his sleeping friend.  
  
"You look tired this days hyung. Are you not sleeping well?" He asked despite knowing that no answers would be given. The blond laughed when Hooni grumbled in his sleep, burrying his face on the arms that he crossed in the table.  
  
"I'm glad you finally did though. Even if it was because I was boring." He said good-naturedly grin on his face, elbow leaning on the table to plant his chin on it and stare closely at his sleeping hyung.  
  
Hooni muttered something but it was too quiet. He looked cute there, calm and no worry pinching his brow. The sight made something in Soorim soften.  
  
He looked for a blanket in the mattress behind him but sighed when he saw nothing. "It must be in the wash huh?" He asked again as he removed the zip-up hoodie he was wearing. He stood up from where he was sitting and sat beside Hooni quietly.  
  
"Here hyung. Sleep we-"  
  
"Soorim..." The blond stopped what he was saying, hands still on Hooni's shoulder as he draped the hoodie. He leaned in, curious what he's hyung would say about him. "You," The blond tilted his head to the side, he what?  
  
"-make me feel safe." The rest of the statement sent Soorim straightening up. What?  
  
He makes Hooni feel safe?  
  
-  
  
Soorim left the apartment, bee-lining to their house and told himself that he wasn't running away. "Hey Soo-"  
  
He ignored his sister and plowed through his room.  
  
Harim glared at his brother's back. "I was just going to ask why your face was red you bastard!" She huffed shaking her head. Ugh, boys.

**Author's Note:**

> and yeah, jaaehoon took the box cutter blade, he noticed that hooni was acting down tho he doesn know why. and soorim is a cutie, a sunshine, i need him in mylife. i need someone like him in my life lol (also i want a flushing flustered soorim)
> 
> hope u like it huhu


End file.
